Can I get that in an XL? No, not the size. I mean the “FUCK.”
Clothes shopping, it’s always an experience. The bizarre English language adorned garments you find on sale or just being worn around town in blissful ignorance; at first is a total ‘double take, what the fuck is that all about’ moment usually leaving you chuckling to yourself in a packed subway like an escaped mental patient.
Clothing slogans range from the almost making sense, well, grammatically at least:
“Hamberger friend. I feel happiness when I eat him.”
Is that Hamberg like iceberg? And the ‘er’ suffix denoting occupation? So my question is,
“Why have you not been arrested for cannibalising the friend of the guy who makes floating arctic masses out of processed pig snouts and anuses?
Thank fuck there’s also a picture of a packet of French fries to go with that otherwise I may have had a hard time deciphering that maybe YOU LOVE FRIES??
Nothing brightens your day more than an ancient old crone looking like an extra from the Dark Crystal wearing a skin tight T-shirt with ‘HOT BITCH’ slapped on it, or indeed an 8 year old boy with a top sporting ‘DIRTY OLD MAN’ in giant capitals.
Watching the average mundanely tedious daytime TV show becomes almost worthwhile viewing when the presenter has ‘FUCK MONSTER’ striped across his gut.
Over the years you kind of become desensitised and it takes something a little more nuanced to give you a giggle.
I found my sense of clothing humour awoken a little again by some little 70 year old man wearing a black baseball cap with ‘COMPTON’ written in gangster style script stamped across the front.
Fuck me! it’s RICE CUBE! from NWA (Nippers With Attitude) with the their hit single ‘STORAYTO OUTO OBU COMPU-TOWNU’.
Had me smiling all day.
It’s not that unusual to find ridiculous kid’s garments occasionally adorned with profanities, but more interestingly, marijuana designs to which the mums have zero clue. Largely because the average attitude and education towards drugs is on par with 1930’s U.S classic ‘Reefer Madness’.
The pure shock of a mother’s realisation that her elementary school kid is wearing weed paraphernalia is priceless. It almost compares to the contempt ridden face of an 8 year old that knows you are the reason his favourite hat just got tossed in the fucking rubbish.
Tokyo often gets a mention as a prestigious outlet for high end fashion. You know – the London, New York, Paris, Milan, Tokyo (Peckham?) advertising.
This shit though looks like it’s just come straight out of the annual ‘Tourette’s, dyslexics and pot head’s’ charity jumble sale, but please, keep wearing them.
It really can brighten up the trip to work.
Land of the Aggravating Sun 